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eatmoreproteinSometimes it's really hard to believe that I'm approaching a whole year here in Darrow. I still don't really feel like I've settled in all that well, but I felt like that at home a lot of the time too. I miss hockey in the way that I assume someone might miss a limb that was viciously ripped away from their body, to be dramatic. But hockey was like that for me. It was a part of me, in my blood and in my bones, and sometimes I'm surprised to find that I've lived through losing it.
I might not have if it weren't for Bittle. He's the only thing that's kept me sane and sober throughout the whole ordeal. He's sort of my everything now, taking up the empty space that hockey left behind. He is what I'm passionate about now, what keeps me going through the tough days.
And he's the reason that I put all of this together. I wanted Christmas to be really special, and I know how stressed out he is lately. I want him to relax, and that why I rented out a room at Kagura for the week between Christmas and New Year's. It put a pretty sizable dent in my meager savings account, but it'll be worth it. I'm getting more and more used to not having an endless income. I'm better at budgeting and looking for deals, and I even get sort of excited about clipping coupons. So while the first few months were very hard, it's getting easier and I'm happy that my first sizable purchase will be something for me and Bittle to enjoy together.
I packed a bag for him and arranged for someone to take care of Elvis and the dogs, and talked to Derek and Blue to make sure they wouldn't be needing Bittle for the week. I brought everything up here, including our skates, and texted Bittle to ask him to meet me up here for some Christmas Eve cocoa in hopes of surprising him.
But the biggest surprise in store, it seems, was for me.
After checking in and dropping our luggage off in the room, I decided to take a quick stroll around the lodge while waiting for Bits to join me. There's a cafe up ahead, and I head for it in hopes of a good cup of coffee when suddenly I'm stopped in my tracks. It's like an invisible wall has gone up all around me, and anxiety wells up in my throat. I've never experienced anything like this, and it's terrifying. I don't know what to do.
"Ooh look, a new victim," someone says, and I look up to see two girls leaving the cafe. "And he's a cute one!"
"What's going on?" I ask, feeling my fingers start to tremble where they're pressed against my sides.
"The mistletoe got you, babe," one of the girls says, looking delighted. "But I'd be happy to free you."
She winks and puckers her shiny lips at me, and I feel panic clawing at my insides as I shake my head, not wanting them to come any closer.
"Um, no thanks," I breathe out. "I'll just--- stay here."
I might not have if it weren't for Bittle. He's the only thing that's kept me sane and sober throughout the whole ordeal. He's sort of my everything now, taking up the empty space that hockey left behind. He is what I'm passionate about now, what keeps me going through the tough days.
And he's the reason that I put all of this together. I wanted Christmas to be really special, and I know how stressed out he is lately. I want him to relax, and that why I rented out a room at Kagura for the week between Christmas and New Year's. It put a pretty sizable dent in my meager savings account, but it'll be worth it. I'm getting more and more used to not having an endless income. I'm better at budgeting and looking for deals, and I even get sort of excited about clipping coupons. So while the first few months were very hard, it's getting easier and I'm happy that my first sizable purchase will be something for me and Bittle to enjoy together.
I packed a bag for him and arranged for someone to take care of Elvis and the dogs, and talked to Derek and Blue to make sure they wouldn't be needing Bittle for the week. I brought everything up here, including our skates, and texted Bittle to ask him to meet me up here for some Christmas Eve cocoa in hopes of surprising him.
But the biggest surprise in store, it seems, was for me.
After checking in and dropping our luggage off in the room, I decided to take a quick stroll around the lodge while waiting for Bits to join me. There's a cafe up ahead, and I head for it in hopes of a good cup of coffee when suddenly I'm stopped in my tracks. It's like an invisible wall has gone up all around me, and anxiety wells up in my throat. I've never experienced anything like this, and it's terrifying. I don't know what to do.
"Ooh look, a new victim," someone says, and I look up to see two girls leaving the cafe. "And he's a cute one!"
"What's going on?" I ask, feeling my fingers start to tremble where they're pressed against my sides.
"The mistletoe got you, babe," one of the girls says, looking delighted. "But I'd be happy to free you."
She winks and puckers her shiny lips at me, and I feel panic clawing at my insides as I shake my head, not wanting them to come any closer.
"Um, no thanks," I breathe out. "I'll just--- stay here."
